In the world of yoga there is something called the 108 day yoga challenge. It is where an individual sets an intentions to practice yoga for 108 days in row. I have recently seen many of my friends make a commitment to this challenge and it has been incredible to be a witness to the powerful transformation that can occur when we commit to anything for 108 days.

March 1st marks my birthday month and the beginning of what I would like to call my 108 Day Writing Challenge. This month always brings up a lot of reflection for me of where I have been this past year, where am I going, and what intentions do I desire to create for myself. We often teach what we need to learn. For years I have guided my clients in showing up more authentically, more boldly, more empowered in their life and yet, I will admit, have held back my own voice for fear of being truly seen. Wounds from the past have kept my inner voice and my inner power locked inside with lingering questions of if I allowed myself to be heard what if I am not accepted? What if I am not appreciated for who I am? What if I actually have nothing to say? I am excited to embark on this challenge as when we engage in our deeper inner healing as human beings, we support others in having the space to do their inner healing as well as we begin to show up differently in our life and with others.

In the last year I planned a wedding, got married, closed on a house, and engaged in deep inner work to break down the preconceived notions of who I thought I was to gain a deeper understanding of who I actually am. Showing up differently in the world when we begin to release patterns and habits that were only set up from a place of protection to not get hurt from the world can feel messy, awkward, and uncomfortable. And yet, if we want to grow, if we want to evolve, we must step outside of our comfort zones for that transformation to occur.

So while I don't have a set intention for what I want to see happen this next year in my life, or even what I desire to occur for committing to writing for 108 days, I want to commit more to getting comfortable with feeling discomfort. I find a lot of the work I am engaging in with my clients lately has been to acknowledge and embrace our entire human experience and all the many emotions that can arise on our life journey. When we take away labels on our emotions as a "good" emotion or a "bad" emotion, we get to step into curiosity to explore what sensations arise in our body when different emotions are present. Those sensations can then guide us in how we are processing any moment without any story attached to what we are experiencing. Different emotions can produce different sensations and when we welcome in and embrace whatever is present, that is when our emotions and sensations can actually decrease in their intensity as we release any internal battle of fighting what is.

I invite you all along on this 108 day journey with me to explore embracing discomfort, embracing anxiety, embracing frustration and confusion and grief and pain and joy and elation and anything else that might arise in the next 108 days.

In my studies, I heard one of my teachers say, "Intuition is not intuition until you check it out." This profoundly stuck with me. We hear a lot of sayings around trust your gut intuition but what exactly does that mean? Ultimately, we can misinterpret intuition for fear. If we enter into a situation that reminds us of a previous situation we have been in from the past and it reminds us of a negative outcome we may say we felt intuition that the situation wasn't safe to be in or that relationship wasn't the "right" relationship when really we were feeling fear for the same previous outcome to occur.

So how can we tell the difference between fear and intuition?

1. Have you experienced a situation like this before? If you are feeling intense emotions arise in a moment, you can slow down and check in and explore if the situation you are in reminds you of some occurrence from your past. You can then explore what happened in that situation and discover how your current situation is different so that you can step out of fear and simply name all the ways that you are different or the current situation has different nuances. This way you can become embodied again and self soothe to feel yourself grounded in the present.

2. Ask questions to the person/people around you. If you think you are intuiting something check it out! It never hurts to ask others questions so that you can get clear on if you are projecting your past or feelings or stories onto another person. If while you are asking questions and the person in front of you is resonating with everything you are asking then you might be on to something. If the person is confused or does not agree with the ideas you are presenting then that is just an opportunity to explore within yourself how some emotions might be triggered within you and has nothing to do with that person or the present moment.

3. Lastly, it can also be both! We are emotional human beings and we are all strong mirrors and teachers for each other. We can use our past as inspiration to connect with others on a deep level in the present. We can offer our insights to those around us in what we have learned on our journey and also honor that what has worked for us may not work for someone else. If fear is arising for us we can name that we are feeling fear and just by embracing our human experience exactly the way that it is in the moment can soften any intense emotions we might be feeling to allow space for intuition to make its way through and also hear where our fear is calling us to grow or calling us to support those around us. Fear (or any emotion) we feel in a moment can inform us on how those around us may also be feeling so we can also cultivate so much compassion that our feelings are ours and also are a part of greater collective around us.

If I could leave you with one take away from this post it would be question everything. Question your thoughts. Question your actions. Question the words that come out of your mouth or the definitions you have created or been taught. Question what intuition is and even question fear. It can be incredibly liberating that you get to create your own reality and that reality can also change depending upon what your perspective is on any day.

Ah, one of my favorite topics in the world.  Poop. I get far too excited in my initial intakes with my clients talking about how their bowel movements are doing. 

Honestly, poop is one of the best indicators for how your insides are doing and how clean your digestive tract is.  Dr. Ken Heaton created the Bristol Stool Chart as a tool to measure the transit time of the colon. Take the chart with a grain of salt but many practitioners still use it today as a way for individuals to talk about what their stool looks like.

We typically want stool that is soft, well formed, and easy to pass. This means that food is not staying in your digestive tract too long and fermenting or not transiting too fast and thus increasing the likelihood of not absorbing the nutrients in your food.

Your bowel movements can change from day to day, month to month depending upon what you're eating, your physical activity, your stress levels, even how much you're chewing your food. Use your stool as information and an opportunity to reflect on your eating habits and stress levels. Through healing my digestive tract, I have seen the health of my own bowel movements improve. So don't fear how your elimination is going now, it can and will change.

If you find you're having too many hard bowel movements or stool coming out too easily try incorporating more vegetables into your diet, sip on a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in water with meals, take some probiotics (especially those with Saccharomyces boulardii), try some digestive enzymes for a short period of time to assist with the digestion and elimination process, and add some fermented vegetables like Kimchee or sauerkraut to your meals (just make sure there is no added sugar!).

Additionally, your bowel movements are such a wonderfully unique way, that rarely gets talked about in my opinion, of how to check in with yourself and come into the present moment.  Your stool can tell you a lot about how you're doing emotionally not just physically. What might you be holding on to? Or where are you not creating appropriate boundaries for yourself? Are you holding on to past experiences or fights or grudges and having a difficult time letting go? Do you share everything that is on your mind and always say yes to everything and having a hard time nourishing your soul and identifying what it is that you need?

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences with your own poop and what you have learned from your ability or difficulty with elimination.

Sometimes when my digestion starts to act up, I have to take a look at the things I am telling myself internally and not necessarily the food I am eating.  When my internal critic speaks up (and sometimes it can be really loud), I know that my whole body goes into a stress response, my gut cramps, digestion shuts down, and my ability to digest food and my life diminishes.

Meals that I could digest fine when my thoughts are kind and peaceful are suddenly not assimilating as well.  Our body reacts and responds to the words and the statements we are creating internally.  So if we are telling ourselves harsh words, putting ourselves down, judging ourselves, we are digesting those thoughts and those words along with the food we are eating. 

Often I talk about what digests and assimilates well in terms of food, but for a moment think about how the word hate would digest in your body.  Or what about the word ugly.  How would the statement I am not good enough digest in your system?  I know that even as I am typing these specific words I can feel my body tense up. 

When we think loving thoughts, let go of expectations, and just show up as we are in the moment, our body will go into a relaxation response and your ability to assimilate your food and your experiences will increase.  I know that I have had moments where I made a conscious decision to shift my internal thoughts to ones of love and appreciation for myself and then heard my stomach gurgle.  I took that as a thank you from my gut.  Thank you for feeding me love, thank you for nourishing me with appreciation, thank you for these thoughts so I can do my job properly.

I would love to hear from you!  Have you noticed a difference in your body's ability to function when your thoughts are positive?  Have you experienced your digestion change when you under a lot of stress and thinking stressful thoughts? 

When people find out that I am a nutritional counselor, I suddenly feel like they are nervous to eat in front of me.  Like I have all the answers and what they are doing is supposedly wrong.  I want to dispel that right now, that I never judge what someone else is eating. 

I have learned through my journey and relationship with food that what works for me isn't going to work for everyone else.  I don't live in your body, I don't truly know what your body needs from moment to moment (I do however love teaching how to learn to communicate with your unique body).

At the beginning of my gut healing journey, I was told how mucus forming dairy was and that it could be causing some of my issues.  You want me to give up my yogurt!? I loved my sugary added yogurts and the first time I heard this I was not ready to take that advice.

I tell you this story because it took me another 3 years to actually experiment with completely taking dairy out of my daily eating habits to find out that indeed dairy and I are not friends.  When we are ready to deepen in our relationship with food and ourselves we will.  What I have learned through my client's and my own process with the gut is to be patient and to give yourself plenty of time.

Embrace where you are now with your relationship with food.  Sometimes it may just be too intense to look at how you are nourishing yourself because it may be a protective blanket covering up some intense emotions that you are just not ready to deal with yet.  And that is totally fine!  Love yourself up and know that you are doing the best you can in this moment to take the very best care of yourself.

I wish I had been told this more on my journey to heal my gut.  Every time I had a digestive upset I felt like a failure and that all my effort to heal was for nothing. But every decision, every effort, every choice I made in the direction of listening, of tuning in to myself, especially in the moments that I was in pain and I didn't want to listen, brought me closer to myself and to my body and what it truly wanted.

So if you find yourself eating in front of me, just know that all I wish for you is an enjoyable experience with that food. We are all at different phases and stages in our relationship with food and I find the journey beautiful and full of deep wisdom and knowledge for who we are and the stories we bring with us from childhood.  It is all right there on our plate.

The stomach lining changes over about every 5 days, your taste buds change every two weeks, every day you shed over a million skin cells, the uterine wall for a woman sheds every month.  We are constantly changing and from day to day we are never living in the same body.  How will you begin the process of coming into relationship with your body and your gut for who they are and what they need today?

Happy Day after July 4th!  You might have gone to a big BBQ yesterday, ate a lot of food, and now today feel perhaps sluggish, tired, bloated, and gassy.  Additionally, often times after a large meal there is a judgmental voice that pops up.  "Why did you do that?"  "You are such a failure for eating that much." "I have to restrict what I eat today to make up for yesterday." "I have to go to the gym today and work this all off." 

Do any of these sound familiar to you?  This list goes on in terms of what that voice can say, but it is a voice that is loud, mean, and not looking after your health and well being.

So here are a couple of steps you can take after eating a big meal:

1.  Focus on Emotional Nourishment

Being with friends and family nourishes us in a similar and different way than food.  We can get filled up by the experience of being around loved ones.  Chatting, catching up, funny stories, playing games, effect the way we digest our food.  When you are being emotionally nourished by the situation your body is in a relaxation response and your digestive tract can handle any input of food easier.  So as those voices pop up, redirect your thoughts toward how you were nourished by the situation.  Often big meals are eaten in the company of others.  Instead of focusing on how much you ate, reflect on how the people, the situation, the environment was ultimately very fulfilling.

2.  Be gentle with yourself

Think of the negative, harsh, internal voice that arises after a large meal as your inner child.  The more you ignore the fact they are whining, the louder they get.  Listen to what your inner child is saying, rub their back, and tell them everything is going to be alright.  The voices may still be there but you can acknowledge them and choose not to do anything about them.  This can be an opportunity to delve deeper into what the voices are really trying to say.  Is eating a large meal mean you deserve less love?  Is feeling overly full mean that people won't like you anymore?  Be super gentle with yourself after a large meal and think about what you can emotionally nourish yourself with throughout the day that doesn't have to do with restriction or self punishment.  Take a bath, take a walk, listen to some music, call a friend, do something that nourishes your soul.  It is all about coming back to self love.

3.  Eat something fermented/take your probiotics

I of course had to add this in!  After a big meal, there might have been a lot of sweets, sugar, or carbs that were consumed.  By eating some kimchee, sauerkraut, taking a probiotic, drinking some Kevita, you will be flooding your gut with beneficial bacteria which will go to work to make sure those foods are not sitting in your stomach and fermenting.  Getting in the good bacteria after a big meal will help keep your mood up and aid your belly in digesting all the yummy food you just ate.  Additionally if you take your probiotic with a glass of water with a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in it you will increase your stomach acid to also help break down the large meal.

And just remember every time we eat is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.  Every meal is a chance to explore our relationship with food and others.  There is no judgment here.  Be curious like a child and explore the situation with fascination and inquiry.

I will be honest.  I don't eat sugar.  Ever.  I don't eat processed sugar, brown sugar, agave, honey, or maple syrup.  I rarely eat fruit and I will occasionally dabble with coconut sugar and stevia, but that is about it.  And this is what works for me and may not work for you.  Let me back up first and give some back story.

I loved sugar as a kid.  I loved cakes, cookies, gummies, candy, sugary cereals, chocolate.  If it had sugar in it, I wanted it.  Now as we have learned in the present day that sugar is as addictive or maybe even more addictive than cocaine, I understand why I wanted the stuff so badly.  Eating all that sugary food as a kid though destroyed my microbiome in my stomach. 

Bad bacteria and yeast feed and thrive off of sugars.  So the more sugar you eat, the greater the possibility of feeding those bad bacteria and the less room there will be for good bacteria to thrive.  And seeing as how 95% of our serotonin or happy neurotransmitter are made in the gut there is a pretty good possibility that your ability to feel happy can be compromised by eating sugar and highly processed carbs. 

Once I learned this and slowly stopped eating sugar (which was a very slow process over many years) I just never turned back.  So when I hear other people say to me, "but don't you feel deprived" or "what about everything in moderation," I think why would I eat something that is so addictive to my body and that makes me feel awful in my system? 

Sometimes there are some foods that we just need to stay away from.  If you feel emotional, unstable, ungrounded, lacking clarity, mental fog after eating a particular food ask yourself what is it about this experience of eating this food that feels addictive?  Is there some part of you that is so used to your physical and emotional reactions after eating a particular food that you have become complacent that this is just the way life is. 

1.  With those foods you have to decide for yourself, is "in moderation" worth it if it makes you feel a certain way that blocks your ability to be your most vibrant self. (And I want to make sure I state that for you it may be worth it!!  I do not believe in deprivation, but please understand I do not feel deprived not eating sugar when there are other foods and things in my life that bring so much sweetness.  Whatever you decide, honor that decision that you are making the best choice for your health and well being.)

2.  Next step is to ask yourself is there an alternative you can have in this moment?  For example, if I really need something that tastes sweet I will go toward berries, cooking something with stevia, baking some vegetable that has a sweet flavor like acorn squash or spaghetti squash or sweet potatoes.  Get creative!  If your thing is chips, would making some kale chips satisfy?  If your thing is a cheeseburger, could you make a burger at home and wrap it in a romaine lettuce leaf.  Or if your thing is sugar, could you make your own chocolate with raw cacao powder and stevia and freeze it in the freezer.  (more recipes to come soon on my blog ;)

3.  Last, ask yourself what would happen if you never had that food.  What emotions come up?  This is a lot of information about how that food is possibly nourishing you on an emotional level but not a physical one. 

At this point you don't necessarily have to give up that food altogether but you now have more awareness to make conscious decisions.  And that is really what this is all about.  Instead of asking yourself what would feel good in my system right at this very moment, you could ask how do I want to feel in an hour, two hours, the rest of the day, how do I want to feel tomorrow?  Your choices today effect your future self.  The choice is up to you and just remember there is no wrong choice.  Every action just gives us information to make informed decisions.

A third solar eclipse is about to happen on Friday July 1st; the third one to happen, which is very rare.  A solar eclipse occurs when the moon passes between earth and the sun, totally or partially obscuring the image of the Sun for a viewer on Earth.  So what does this mean for us exactly and why should you even care?  Think about the fact that the power of the moon can change the waves of a tide.  Now in some organisms, up to 90% of their body weight comes from water. Up to 60% of the human body is water, the brain is composed of 70% water, and the lungs are nearly 90% water. Lean muscle tissue contains about 75% water by weight, as is the brain; body fat contains 10% water and bone has 22% water.  Needless to say we are mostly made of water so the moon will ultimately have a very powerful affect on us as well.

Plus the fact that this Friday is also a New Moon, which means new energy and a good time to start new endeavors.  When an eclipse is taking place dramatic things can happen and emotions can be heightened.  So if you are having an emotional week or Friday things just blow up in your face, there are larger factors at play here.  Astrology fascinates me as it reminds me to: 1. come back to self acceptance of who I am because I was born with a blueprint and it is just a matter of getting to know me instead of trying to change me and 2. it brings the awareness that most things in life can not be explained with a simple answer....there are many factors working at the same time all the time.

So often I find myself wanting answers and understanding why I do the things I do or why my digestive tract suddenly starts acting up when I mentally feel nothing has changed.  Yet, things are changing all the time: our relationships, jobs, for women where they are in their cycle, our energy can wax and wane depending upon the thoughts going through our head.  And then there are the bigger things that we consciously don't stay awake to: the sun, the moon, where the stars are, the cycles of the earth, the season, the weather, the energy being emitted from our wireless router, our computer, the telephone wires, our cell phones.  All these things affect us.  Ever sat in front of the computer for a really long time and just got more and more tired.  It is not just because you are working so hard, or blinking less as you stare at the screen, but the energy that is being emitted from your computer can be toxic to your body.

So what is the message here?  We can't walk around in fear all day thinking about all the things that could be affecting us (trust me I've spent a day or two like that and I did not get a lot accomplished that day needless to say).  It is a matter of coming back to earth, coming back to the ground.  It is about lying on your floor and staring at the ceiling and walking barefoot in the park to connect back with the earth's natural energy, which is ultimately soothing and healing.  When life or emotions get stirred up how can you nourish yourself to come back to the stillness that resides within you?  How can you ride the wave of your own emotions and watch yourself from the outside like a curious observer?

It is not an easy thing to do, but the more you can completely empty yourself and get out of the thoughts of who you think you are or should be and accept what is, you can root your energy and presence back into the present moment.

P.S- this Friday...stay close to earth and it will help you connect back to your smiling heart.

I once saw on a poster: "Remember you are unique, just like everybody else."  I laughed out loud, but secretly I could feel the hurt pride of my ego.  For me, there has always been a wish and a hope that I was unique and I had special gifts to bring to this planet.  The conundrum of this thought is that on another level I consistently wish for communion, a feeling of togetherness, and that I am not a lone island.  This has had me explore the difference between the messages from the mind and the messages from the body.  The mind, I often feel, is where our ego lies.  It tells us what we want to hear or what we want to believe or what we desire.  It is our mind that often tells us I really want chocolate cake or sugar or ice cream or chips; it tells us we deserve these things, especially on hard and stressful days.  On a body level, our bodies remind us that we are never alone.  We are connected to ourselves every moment, even when we are not consciously aware.  We are connected to really everyone and everything.  When we exhale the trees/ the earth inhales and when the earth exhales we breath it in.  It is our body that tells us what will nourish us on a more profound and deeper level.  It will tell us whether we need vegetables, protein, what kind, how it wants it cooked or not cooked and it will be very specific about its desires and all we have to do is slow down and listen.

Beyond food though, our bodies will tell us when food is not the form of nourishment that we need.  When we get out of the ego and the mind, we tap into deep desires of perhaps needing a hug, a touch, connection, understanding, a deeper understanding of ourselves.  How is your body being fed by your relationships? your spirituality? your physical exercise? And I am not going to say something like it is all a matter of finding balance; I stopped believing in balance a long time ago as I am someone who lives (as my mother likes to say) on the outliers.  I feel it is a matter of slowing down, coming back to the breath, and viewing life with child's eyes of curiosity, especially in the moments when we feel "out of balance."  How can we sit with the feeling, the sensation of being out of balance (whatever that means or feels like to you) and get out of the ego of the mind that we shouldn't be there.

When we tap back into the body and stick with description of just what is then we begin to get out of the need to be unique and different than everyone else and there comes a realization that we are all one.  When you help someone else, you are also helping yourself. When you reach out into the world the world will reach back to you.  It is all a matter of our own perspective.  We can view ourselves as being an "over extender" or we can view every action we make as an offering back to ourselves.  I have been told too many times this past year of my life that I don't focus on myself enough.  I'm not even truly sure what this means exactly because, for me, when I am helping someone else out or being present and holding space for another individual I am learning so much about myself and life in the process that I feel being in relationship with others allows me to come into a deeper relationship with myself.

How have you discovered the different and often contrasting messages from the body and the mind?  And what have you done in those moments when you are not sure which one to trust?