I'm sure you're seeing a lot of articles right now on how to eat less during the holiday season, what to fill your plate with to keep the pounds off, how to stay away from certain foods this Thanksgiving. I'm here to offer a very different piece of advice. Eat! Eat with pleasure! Eat everything and anything you want. Eat that pie. Eat the cake. Eat all the foods you have maybe been waiting to eat for an entire year.

When we restrict our food or tell ourselves that we can's have that piece of food that we want so badly we trigger a stress response in our body. Eating in a stress response shuts down our digestion and makes it more difficult for our body to assimilate and digest the food we are trying to eat. So you could be eating the healthiest foods on the planet this holiday season but if you are eating it in a stress response because what you really want is the gravy or the mashed potatoes or that piece of pumpkin pie then you actually won't be nourishing your body in the most optimal way which is probably your intention to begin with.

Now I'm sure some thoughts can perhaps arise of, "But if I eat that food I'm never ever going to stop eating!" When you hear these thoughts, I want you to slow down, close your eyes, and take three deep breaths, and invite in trust. Trust your body. Trust yourself that when you tune in to your body and what it is truly wanting to be fed that your desire for the food will diminish. A tidal wave does not keep getting bigger and bigger. Eventually all waves die down. So you can eat that piece of pie and then notice. Notice how it feels in your body. Notice the desire to eat another piece of pie and explore what would eating another piece give you? Explore the voice that wants more and more and see what it has to say, what does it have to teach you, if it had an age how old would that voice be? The more we deeply listen, the more those internal voices can soften because we are allowing them the space to be heard and acknowledged and seen and we get to embrace our human experience exactly the way that it is. You can invite all your emotions to the table. Invite in the fear, the excitement, the anxiety, and give them all a big hug for a being a grand messenger to remind you to be gentle with yourself.

Every eating experience we have is just an opportunity to learn more about ourselves. So instead of bringing in even more control over this holiday season, allow yourself to relax into the moment, and put whatever foods you want to eat on your plate. Fully enjoy them. Notice the tastes, the textures, notice what you love about that food, be fed by your surroundings and being around people you love or even just appreciate your own presence in the moment. When we eat in this way we bring our body into a relaxation response where the body can function optimally and digest any kind of food that you choose to nourish your body with.

I'm wishing you a holiday season filled with self compassion, acceptance, and kindness toward yourself no matter what you eat. I hope your plate is filled with pleasure, joy, and love!

I have learned over the years that it doesn't matter how healthy I am eating, that if I am eating quickly or when I am stressed, I have a difficult time digesting my meals.

Check out this video that it is not just what we are eating that contributes to healthy digestion but also how we are eating.

Please comment below: Have you noticed a difference in your ability to assimilate a meal when you are eating when you are relaxed or stressed?  I would love to hear from you!

Let's get vulnerable shall we?  My first year of Graduate School to get my Masters in Body Psychotherapy was intense.  The way I like to describe the experience to others, is that the classes are shaped in a way to rip your heart out of your chest, make you look at it, so that you can do the same for others.  Additionally, while going through the program, you also have to be in therapy so that you know what your triggers are and don't project your issues onto other people.

So my first year of Grad School I was mucking around in the deep dark depths of my soul.  I was looking at pains and wounds I hadn't explored probably ever.  There was a lot of crying and a lot of eating.  I had never binged this much on food in my entire life.  I was uncomfortable and it was unsettling.  Here I was still calling myself a nutritional counselor and spending whole days just eating dates.

While being in that period of time felt like forever, I can look back on it now and feel grateful for that experience.  I was using food as a tool to cope with emotions that just felt too big to manage.  I was talking about situations from my past and deep wounds that I wasn't entirely sure how to sort through, process, assimilate, and digest.  My binging was a way to protect myself.  It was a way to feel grounded on earth, that I was still alive, and that these situations didn't eat me and swallow me whole.  It was a way to fill myself up when I was exploring situations that left me feeling so empty.  

The one thing I want to offer you that I could have done without during that time was the judgment.  If you have ever binged or are currently struggling with binging it is not something that is bad, not something to be shamed, or ashamed about.  It is a message from yourself to yourself.  You can learn from these experiences with food and they can teach and reveal to you your own resiliency.  Whatever your binging is trying to help you get through, it is actually a sign of your strength.  You are getting through whatever difficult experiences that are happening.  The situation and the binging will eventually subside (even if it has been years), I promise you. 

Binging is a way to feel connected to yourself, to feel your aliveness.  I recently heard Marc David, founder of IPE, say that binging has a lot of power to it.  So you engaging in the act of binging can just be a misguided attempt to step into how powerful, resilient, and strong you are.

The lesson that my time with bingeing helped me to discover was to reach out and talk.  So I will leave you with this the next time you are feeling the need or desire to binge on food, pick up the phone and talk to someone.  Call your mom, your dad, a sibling, a friend, a significant other, whoever you want and talk about your emotions.  You can talk about the fact that you want to binge but that is skirting the issue that some big emotions are coming up that feel like they have the power and are going to consume you. 

Even if you have the binge, once it is over and you feel yourself coming back in to your body, still pick up the phone and call someone or take out a journal or a piece of paper and start writing.  Find some way to connect back with what is coming up for you because even after the binge is over the emotions will probably still be there.  And remember to send yourself so much loving kindness because you are just trying to do the best job you can taking care of you and, trust me, you are doing a pretty damn good job.

Sometimes when my digestion starts to act up, I have to take a look at the things I am telling myself internally and not necessarily the food I am eating.  When my internal critic speaks up (and sometimes it can be really loud), I know that my whole body goes into a stress response, my gut cramps, digestion shuts down, and my ability to digest food and my life diminishes.

Meals that I could digest fine when my thoughts are kind and peaceful are suddenly not assimilating as well.  Our body reacts and responds to the words and the statements we are creating internally.  So if we are telling ourselves harsh words, putting ourselves down, judging ourselves, we are digesting those thoughts and those words along with the food we are eating. 

Often I talk about what digests and assimilates well in terms of food, but for a moment think about how the word hate would digest in your body.  Or what about the word ugly.  How would the statement I am not good enough digest in your system?  I know that even as I am typing these specific words I can feel my body tense up. 

When we think loving thoughts, let go of expectations, and just show up as we are in the moment, our body will go into a relaxation response and your ability to assimilate your food and your experiences will increase.  I know that I have had moments where I made a conscious decision to shift my internal thoughts to ones of love and appreciation for myself and then heard my stomach gurgle.  I took that as a thank you from my gut.  Thank you for feeding me love, thank you for nourishing me with appreciation, thank you for these thoughts so I can do my job properly.

I would love to hear from you!  Have you noticed a difference in your body's ability to function when your thoughts are positive?  Have you experienced your digestion change when you under a lot of stress and thinking stressful thoughts? 

This was my very first episode of Gut Guru. 

In this episode I talk about cravings and how they are meant to be heard, they are meant to be listened to, and they typically have a message for you.

How do you typically approach your cravings?  What do you find yourself craving on a regular basis?

When people find out that I am a nutritional counselor, I suddenly feel like they are nervous to eat in front of me.  Like I have all the answers and what they are doing is supposedly wrong.  I want to dispel that right now, that I never judge what someone else is eating. 

I have learned through my journey and relationship with food that what works for me isn't going to work for everyone else.  I don't live in your body, I don't truly know what your body needs from moment to moment (I do however love teaching how to learn to communicate with your unique body).

At the beginning of my gut healing journey, I was told how mucus forming dairy was and that it could be causing some of my issues.  You want me to give up my yogurt!? I loved my sugary added yogurts and the first time I heard this I was not ready to take that advice.

I tell you this story because it took me another 3 years to actually experiment with completely taking dairy out of my daily eating habits to find out that indeed dairy and I are not friends.  When we are ready to deepen in our relationship with food and ourselves we will.  What I have learned through my client's and my own process with the gut is to be patient and to give yourself plenty of time.

Embrace where you are now with your relationship with food.  Sometimes it may just be too intense to look at how you are nourishing yourself because it may be a protective blanket covering up some intense emotions that you are just not ready to deal with yet.  And that is totally fine!  Love yourself up and know that you are doing the best you can in this moment to take the very best care of yourself.

I wish I had been told this more on my journey to heal my gut.  Every time I had a digestive upset I felt like a failure and that all my effort to heal was for nothing. But every decision, every effort, every choice I made in the direction of listening, of tuning in to myself, especially in the moments that I was in pain and I didn't want to listen, brought me closer to myself and to my body and what it truly wanted.

So if you find yourself eating in front of me, just know that all I wish for you is an enjoyable experience with that food. We are all at different phases and stages in our relationship with food and I find the journey beautiful and full of deep wisdom and knowledge for who we are and the stories we bring with us from childhood.  It is all right there on our plate.

Happy Day after July 4th!  You might have gone to a big BBQ yesterday, ate a lot of food, and now today feel perhaps sluggish, tired, bloated, and gassy.  Additionally, often times after a large meal there is a judgmental voice that pops up.  "Why did you do that?"  "You are such a failure for eating that much." "I have to restrict what I eat today to make up for yesterday." "I have to go to the gym today and work this all off." 

Do any of these sound familiar to you?  This list goes on in terms of what that voice can say, but it is a voice that is loud, mean, and not looking after your health and well being.

So here are a couple of steps you can take after eating a big meal:

1.  Focus on Emotional Nourishment

Being with friends and family nourishes us in a similar and different way than food.  We can get filled up by the experience of being around loved ones.  Chatting, catching up, funny stories, playing games, effect the way we digest our food.  When you are being emotionally nourished by the situation your body is in a relaxation response and your digestive tract can handle any input of food easier.  So as those voices pop up, redirect your thoughts toward how you were nourished by the situation.  Often big meals are eaten in the company of others.  Instead of focusing on how much you ate, reflect on how the people, the situation, the environment was ultimately very fulfilling.

2.  Be gentle with yourself

Think of the negative, harsh, internal voice that arises after a large meal as your inner child.  The more you ignore the fact they are whining, the louder they get.  Listen to what your inner child is saying, rub their back, and tell them everything is going to be alright.  The voices may still be there but you can acknowledge them and choose not to do anything about them.  This can be an opportunity to delve deeper into what the voices are really trying to say.  Is eating a large meal mean you deserve less love?  Is feeling overly full mean that people won't like you anymore?  Be super gentle with yourself after a large meal and think about what you can emotionally nourish yourself with throughout the day that doesn't have to do with restriction or self punishment.  Take a bath, take a walk, listen to some music, call a friend, do something that nourishes your soul.  It is all about coming back to self love.

3.  Eat something fermented/take your probiotics

I of course had to add this in!  After a big meal, there might have been a lot of sweets, sugar, or carbs that were consumed.  By eating some kimchee, sauerkraut, taking a probiotic, drinking some Kevita, you will be flooding your gut with beneficial bacteria which will go to work to make sure those foods are not sitting in your stomach and fermenting.  Getting in the good bacteria after a big meal will help keep your mood up and aid your belly in digesting all the yummy food you just ate.  Additionally if you take your probiotic with a glass of water with a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar in it you will increase your stomach acid to also help break down the large meal.

And just remember every time we eat is an opportunity to learn more about ourselves.  Every meal is a chance to explore our relationship with food and others.  There is no judgment here.  Be curious like a child and explore the situation with fascination and inquiry.

I will start by saying that I am jumping out of my skin in excitement.  I just posted this article on my facebook page. "Enter psychobiotics: a live organism that, when ingested in adequate amounts, produces a health benefit in patients suffering from psychiatric illness."

I am trying to calm my enthusiasm for a minute to truly connect with why these findings and the continued findings of how important our gut microbiome is for me.  I spent years in digestive pain.  I ate poorly because I didn't know that eating something else would help me.  I became complacent with the pain and the bloating.  I thought this was what life was like for me and that I would never know anything different.

When the pain got worse in undergrad so did my anxiety and I began experiencing panic attacks.  I had no clue at the time that all these symptoms were connected.  There have been a lot of things that have helped healed my gut over time (and trust me when I got motivated and aware that I could heal, I tried everything).  But, one of the factors that I believe helped me the most was working on changing the microflora in my gut.

I grew up eating my emotions.  I loved sugar, I loved fatty meals, I loved gluten.  When my parents divorced, food came in to numb that pain.  I had no idea that how I was treating my body as a kid over time would destroy my gut, destroy the healthy balance of good to bad bacteria, and leave me in pain and confusion as to how I got there. 

Gut bacteria can:

Help with digestion
Protect the intestinal barrier
Direct microbial-produced neurochemical production (like GABA a neurotransmitter for relaxation)
Help to prevent stress induced alterations
Direct activation of neural pathways between gut and brain
Improve absorption of nutrients from food
Limit small intestinal bacterial overgrowth (which many individuals with digestive pain have and have yet to be diagnosed)
Reduce anxiety
Decrease cortisol production
Influences neural development, brain chemistry, emotional behavior, pain perception, and how the stress system responds in adulthood
Play a role in manufacturing the body’s supply of serotonin, which influences mood and GI activity

I could go on and on.  There is even research being done right now on what would happen to our body and our self expression if we entirely changed the bacteria in our gut.  Basically, what if we are just large bacterias walking around.  Is bacteria running the show?  Is bacteria really the "soul" we talk about on the inside?

I wrote my thesis on how to cultivate a relationship to the gut brain to teach to therapists about how their clients are eating and treating their body will help facilitate progress across time and in sessions.  The fact that more research continues to come out about the connection between the health of our gut and our mental health fascinates and excites me.  What if someone dealing with severe depression could one day take a prescribed dose of specific strains of probiotics instead of prozac to help them heal their gut and their mind. 

If there is anything that you take away from this today it is start feeding your gut some healthy bacteria every day!  Eat some fermented vegetables, kimchee, sauerkraut, take a refrigerated probiotic.  And then notice how you feel, notice how it affects your mood, your digestion, your ability to focus.  And if you are experiencing digestive pain, give your body time to heal.  When you set up the best internal environment it will heal.

The Institute for Integrative Nutrition defines Primary Food as the type of nourishment that fills you up first.  This comes from healthy relationships, regular physical activity, a fulfilling career and a spiritual practice which can satisfy your hunger for life. "When primary food is balanced and satiated, your life feeds you, making what you eat secondary."

The Conscious Cleanse has a term called Soul Food where again how we are living our life can nourish us in a way that food can't and that often times when our soul is not being fed adequately that is when food can be used inappropriately.

This weekend my primary nourishment or soul food has been filled to the brim.  My mother came to visit.  I never wanted to move to the west coast and be so far away from most of my family, and especially her, but that was where my life was calling me.  So I only get to see her about twice a year, which we talked about this weekend how this needs to change because it is just too little.

I am literally fed by her presence, her laughter, our chats, our hugs, that food becomes secondary.  I eat when I am hungry and I stop when I am full.  Suddenly, when I am truly present and being nourished by my life and those around me, food has less power.  It becomes something that is needed to keep me going and keep my focus on getting back to feeling satiated by my life. 

Sometimes this is a concept I forget when things get super busy.  I can often lean on meal times as a crutch to feel some calm in a busy day.  So this weekend was a nice reminder that when the stress levels rise and things get hectic and busy, this is the time I need to reach out to my friends and family even more to talk, to laugh, to take walks, to decompress.  When we are filled up, satiated, nourished by our surroundings we feed ourselves the things that feel good and give us energy. 

So the next time you find yourself reaching again for a food that leaves you tired or drained or bloated or guilty try asking yourself what else could fill you up in that moment that has nothing to do with food.  Perhaps you need to take a bath, or call a friend, or put on music and dance wild around your apartment or house.  Create a list of these things and put them up on your fridge so that every time you go to reach for food you get the reminder to ask yourself what is it that you are truly craving/needing/desiring in that moment.  Are you truly hungry or are you grazing?  Do you need physical nourishment from food or are you looking to fill some emotional hunger?

No matter what you decide to do, this is all just information to use to empower you to make the best decisions for yourself.  And your primary nourishment or soul food list on your fridge can serve as another tool in which to remind yourself to connect back with you.