What I learned in my 20s Lesson 3: Sensitivity Is A Super Power

I grew up hearing often, "Stephanie don't be soooooo sensitiveeee!" In hearing these external messages my young brain was shaped and made to believe that sensitivity was a weakness, it was something I needed to hide, and that I had to show up strong no matter what. It took me until I was around 25 years old to have those beliefs challenged and that actually my sensitivity to just about everything is my super power and where my strength and gifts reside.

While in internship for my Masters Degree in Body Psychotherapy I had my supervisor once ask me, "What if all the emotions you are feeling in your session is something your client might also be feeling too?" Considering this was like a light bulb went off in my head. I could actually use my emotions and sensations in my body as information for what those around me might also be feeling and processing themselves to connect with them on a deeper level and I don't have to view my sensitivity to my surroundings as "bad" or something I need to push away.

I have always had a sensitive digestive tract and I have always felt my emotions quite intensely. These two things are related and inter-connected. When we feel things deeply but do not allow ourselves the space and time to allow our emotions to be felt all those emotions can get trapped in our digestive tract waiting to be processed and assimilated. Body Psychotherapist, Gerda Boyesen, came up with the term psycho-peristalsis which basically describes the digestion of life experiences. Wounds, trauma, past struggles can all get trapped in our digestive tract waiting to be processed and assimilated into our being. A lot of the work I needed to do in the healing of my gut was giving myself that space and time to process and release old wounds and old beliefs from my body that was no longer serving me in my life.

Now whenever I find myself with an upset stomach I can slow down, rub my belly, and explore what emotions are trying to bubble up from inside that just need to be felt and heard and appreciated for their presence. Our sensitivity in this way can be viewed as the greatest gift to show us how we are processing our external environment and guide us in how we can show up more honestly within ourselves and with others. Have you ever felt anxious while around a dear friend? Have you ever had a feeling someone was going to call and then they did? Have you ever cried and had no idea why you were crying but you just knew you needed to cry?

This is all sensitivity to your surroundings running through you.

If you have ever considered your sensitivity a "negative" thing I invite you to adopt a new view. Put on your sensitivity super hero cape and explore what perhaps your sensitivity is trying to teach you and how it is even guiding you in deeply connecting with yourself and others. We can use our sensitivity as the greatest gift to support ourselves and others in truly being seen and that we empathize and relate on a very deep level of how painful and intensely joyful this human experience can be.

Dealing with years of digestive pain, I definitely found tricks and tips of how to soothe an upset tummy. And while I am no longer in constant pain now, I find that when I want to feel adventurous or test out a food on my digestive tract, these tricks still come in handy.

So when you first feel a twinge of pain, ate too much, ate something you know your sensitive to but just couldn't resist (it happens!) here are some tricks you can try to bring your tummy back into balance.

1. Digestive Enzymes- I don't always suggest digestive enzymes as I have seen a lot of individuals dealing with digestive troubles begin to rely on them and get hooked on them. This leads the body to think that it doesn't have to work so hard producing digestive enzymes so getting off of them can be difficult if you're eating multiple at every meal. But, this handy supplement can support a troubled digestive tract for a short amount of time or an evening. When you find you have eaten a large amount of food or something just isn't sitting quite right, digestive enzymes can be an aid to boost your digestive power to break something down in your stomach that is having a hard time digesting.

2. Apple cider vinegar- ACV really just is a cure all for so many ailments. I have read so many articles recently on just how wonderful ACV truly is for our body. Often times, acid reflux or difficulties digesting a high protein meal can actually mean that you need more acid in your stomach to break down your food (not less, throw out those Tums!). Putting a 1 tsp-tbsp. of ACV diluted in a glass of water and sipping it before or after a meal can add some acid power to your stomach to help break down a meal and diminish any pain. You can even add a few drops of liquid stevia to it to make a refreshing drink. Yum!

3. Ginger- Ginger tea, ginger root, ginger capsules, ginger syrup. There are many ways to get your ginger in. Ginger stimulates the digestive system to produce more enzymes to facilitate digestion. It also helps stimulate more bile production, which can aid in making any digestive pain go away by increasing your ability to break down your food. When I travel abroad I take ginger capsules with me and they work fairly quickly in helping with a digestive woe. You can also make sure you have some ginger tea with you or if you're home break out some ginger root and start chewing. I would just suggest to stay away from ginger chews with the added sugar; the sugar takes away from the benefits of the ginger.

4. Deep breathing- Much of the time digestive pains can be due to trapped gas from possibly eating too fast. When I was going through the worst of my digestive troubles, you could often find me face down, lying on the carpet breathing into my belly. Deep belly breathing can begin to relax the muscles of your stomach switching your whole body into a relaxation response, which is what is needed to turn on digestion. When you're going through any kind of digestive upset, try to remember to breath through it. The added thoughts of "Ow, this hurts, I wish this would go away, why is this happening" causes the body to tighten even more which can in turn worsen the pain. Try lying on the ground, placing your hands on your belly, and just focusing on watching the rise and fall of your belly and feeling the support of the floor beneath you. This too shall pass.

5.  Activated Charcoal- Speaking of trapped gas....activated charcoal will be your little miracle worker. It will bind and absorb to any chemicals or gas or whatever it is that is upsetting your stomach thus diminishing the stress being put on your digestive tract and decreasing pain. Just make sure that if you're taking any medications to take this away from your medications as it will decrease the efficiency of your medications being absorbed as well. Its powerful stuff!

Just remember to add in some extra self love when you're going through any digestive pain. Loving yourself up through the process of learning what does and does not work for your body will help you to move forward from any digestive and eating experience with so much compassion and patience for your unique journey living in a body.

I would love to hear from you! What have you found has worked to help you when you're having a digestive upset?

I find more and more these days my clients are finding they are sensitive to the foods they are eating every day.

Eating the foods we are sensitive to can cause low grade inflammation in the body and cause all sorts of bodily and emotional distress.

Watch this episode of Gut Guru and learn about how you can spot and identify a food sensitivity without all sorts of medical or blood testing (which can sometimes miss the foods we are sensitive to anyways).

Have you discovered any food sensitivities? How did you learn from your body around what foods did not work for you? I would love to hear about your experience discovering and learning from the foods you have found simply don't digest well in your unique system!

I have taken Robin Williams death pretty hard.  I have definitely cried more than once.
I felt like I grew up with this man, that he was a part of my family, and brought my family together through his movies (I have seen Birdcage more times than I care to admit). Here is a man who brought so much joy to the world and who secretly struggled with bringing that same joy into his own life.  I relate to that on so many levels.

Part of being a counselor is about showing up. I have tried to show up more authentically in this past year in particular because I also hide behind a wall, a facade of put together, confident, happy, and thriving. When I was in Grad School in therapy, my therapist actually asked me to draw that wall.  What did it look like? What was it made out of?

To my surprise the wall I drew was made out of glass. She responded when I was done that it was interesting my wall was made out glass because then couldn't people see me? I hide yet I want to be seen. I want to see and observe life but I fear participating. I have dealt with depression most of my life. I have seen members in my family deal with depression most of their life. I have gone to the depths of my soul mucked around, lied on the carpet of my room in my mother's house for two weeks straight before, and I always come back .

I have experienced how depression takes you away from other people, it puts you in a tiny black box where perspective is hard to be seen. I am lucky enough to have a few close individuals and a mother who were always there for long phone calls, crying, and telling me it is time to get out of bed. I have had to come to terms that the hole of depression never really goes away. Some try to fill that hole with medication, some use supplements, or food, or drugs, but it is still always there.

As part of being a nutritional counselor, I know I can use my experience with depression as a strength. I can sit with my clients in the muck, in the dark, in the depth of their soul and see the beauty and wisdom that is there. I see often in my work how so many are tying to fill this void, this hole with food. It unfortunately can't be filled with food, trust me I have also tried.

I share my experience with depression and that it still hovers around me from time to time to connect with you my reader. You are not alone in your struggles. I believe so many, including myself, were shocked about Robin William's death because we just had no idea the struggles and the depth of depression he went through on a daily basis. I believe it was a triumph that he lived for as long as he could with a secret dark cloud hanging over his head and a smile on his face.

I may not know you, but I welcome anyone to reach out. I have always found the thing that brings me out of my own darkness and into the light is connecting with others and lifting our spirits together.

Sometimes when my digestion starts to act up, I have to take a look at the things I am telling myself internally and not necessarily the food I am eating.  When my internal critic speaks up (and sometimes it can be really loud), I know that my whole body goes into a stress response, my gut cramps, digestion shuts down, and my ability to digest food and my life diminishes.

Meals that I could digest fine when my thoughts are kind and peaceful are suddenly not assimilating as well.  Our body reacts and responds to the words and the statements we are creating internally.  So if we are telling ourselves harsh words, putting ourselves down, judging ourselves, we are digesting those thoughts and those words along with the food we are eating. 

Often I talk about what digests and assimilates well in terms of food, but for a moment think about how the word hate would digest in your body.  Or what about the word ugly.  How would the statement I am not good enough digest in your system?  I know that even as I am typing these specific words I can feel my body tense up. 

When we think loving thoughts, let go of expectations, and just show up as we are in the moment, our body will go into a relaxation response and your ability to assimilate your food and your experiences will increase.  I know that I have had moments where I made a conscious decision to shift my internal thoughts to ones of love and appreciation for myself and then heard my stomach gurgle.  I took that as a thank you from my gut.  Thank you for feeding me love, thank you for nourishing me with appreciation, thank you for these thoughts so I can do my job properly.

I would love to hear from you!  Have you noticed a difference in your body's ability to function when your thoughts are positive?  Have you experienced your digestion change when you under a lot of stress and thinking stressful thoughts? 

I get really excited about things.  Ethan, my boyfriend, often compares me to a dog when I get really excited because I can't contain myself.  I want to pounce on the opportunity, the conversation, the situation.  I get so wrapped up in the moment that I can forget about waiting my turn to speak and being patient with my surroundings.

Furthermore, I grew up in a family where I am the youngest of 3 and the only girl.  So I constantly felt like I had to interrupt to be heard over two very entertaining and loud brothers.  This continues to show up in my life now. 

I try to be kind and compassionate with myself when I notice I am getting super excited and want to speak when it is not my turn or feeling the urge to interrupt someone else to make sure I get my point across.  I'll admit, this is a constant practice for me, both to pause and take a breath and to be kind and compassionate toward myself.  But, something that has helped (besides talking to myself to either calm myself down or tell my inner child that they will be heard eventually) is to start to focus on what the other person is saying.

I teach my clients that we are not just nourished by what we are eating but also by our surroundings and environment.  A conversation can satiate you just the same way a meal can when you are really hungry.  When we slow down, not just with our meals, but with our friends and family we get the chance to enjoy their company and truly listen to what they are saying.  When we sit and listen to what someone else has to say we can then process that information easier and digest that experience thoroughly because we were truly present and not in our heads thinking about the next things that we want to say.

Greek Philosopher Epictetus said: We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.

When I am able to listen with both my ears, my excitement does not diminish but it gets contained; it becomes more manageable in the moment so that I can stay present with myself and those around me.  This feels more nourishing in the end.  When we are able to be nourished and satiated by our conversation with others, we feel connected to our surroundings and thus more connected to ourselves. 

So I have been working on Active Therapy for many years but I have recently realized I have shared bits and pieces of my story and how I got here but I have never shared the whole thing.  After three intense years through graduate school, I have had to come to terms with my own sensitivity and thus show up more in my vulnerability and let myself be SEEN (a task that over the years has become fairly difficult).  So I would say the journey into my gut began in middle school.  I have always been a highly sensitive person (many friend's voices pop into my head at a young age telling me "don't be so sensitiveeeee.").  I didn't know how to respect and listen to my emotions and judged how intensely I felt things.  Sitting in front of the television eating an entire bag of Doritos was not an abnormal thing for me as a young teen.  So food and emotions got tied together at a really young age for me.  When I felt an emotional emptiness here came food to "save the day" and numb me out.

By the time I got to college my body was beginning to get fed up of me not listening and choosing foods that did not sit well in my body.  Digestive Disorders run in my family and with a combination of wonderful genetics and a sensitive body which was being fed disrespectfully I began to have digestive issues myself.  I first tried to ignore it and adopted a fashion style of wearing dresses all the time to cover up my bloated and pained belly.  But when the pain began to get worse in undergrad, it was the first time I thought there has got to be something I can do.

First going to the western medical route, I got a colonoscopy and endoscopy done with results that came back fine and thus I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome, or IBS, or just B.S.  At the time of diagnosis, I wasn't ready to delve into my gut, I wasn't ready to heal.  Instead I ran further away from myself.  I didn't know what I could or could not eat, I didn't know what would upset my stomach, and this upset my perfectionistic nature of wanting to get it "right." I ate less and less out of fear of pain and uncertainty of how my gut would react to food.  I lost way too much weight and was too embarrassed to tell others what was going on with me.  Finally, when it was too hard to walk up a flight of stairs I knew it was time to search for some help.  Therapy, nutritional counseling, physical therapy, and beginning yoga slowly started to put me back together and begin to listen to my body.

Learning Ayurveda was the first time a lightbulb went off that changing what I put in my body could change how my body expresses itself.  My journey into my gut kept getting deeper and deeper: becoming a yoga teacher, a health coach, an eating psychologist, and then deciding to go back to graduate school to study body psychotherapy. Years later after that first diagnosis of IBS, I still had not dealt with the emotions held within my gut.  The dietary changes made a huge difference in ridding myself of severe pain, but the bloating and just feeling generally uncomfortable in my gut continued at random intervals.

Delving into my gut with a somatic therapist was definitely scary at first.  I couldn't even imagine what was in there.  It was just this big black hole.  Through talking, imagining, bringing shape, color, and lots and lots of crying things that were being held within my gut began to release. And thus after three years of graduate school I studied the gut brain ( the enteric nervous system) and wrote my thesis on how to cultivate a relationship with the gut brain.

I'm not going to wrap this journey up with a neat bow.  My journey with my gut and my sensitivity continues.  Sometimes I feel like my gut and body are just a sponge for what ever is happening around me.  Sometimes I still don't listen to my gut, sometimes I still don't listen to my cravings but I learn from all of these situations.  Sometimes I still have digestive upsets but now I know how to listen to what my gut is trying to relay.  I have no idea where this journey is going to take me but I am in awe and fascination of my body and my gut.