I don't always make the best choices for myself. Some where I got the notion that there was a right and a wrong way to make a decision instead of a spectrum of grey. As I have grown older so many questions have popped up. I muse now around how so many things in life are both. I want to be in school and I don't. I want to be my own boss and I don't. I want to be in a loving committed relationship.....and I don't. I want to sit on my couch and do absolutely nothing but eat and watch movies all day and I don't. Life is a series of yes and no's all happening at the same time. Yet often when we are experiencing conflicting emotions we judge, push away, eat, exercise, have sex, all to avoid the inevitable contrast living within our body.
The interesting thing is that when we are experiencing the push and pull of life and feeling overwhelmed with our current situation, when we can come very close to ourselves the stress and anguish disappears. When we actually allow ourselves to slowwwwww downnnnn, that is when we can touch out heart and open up to our experience. It is alright to say yes and no at the same time. It is when we try and alter or take control or push ourselves to make a decision before we are ready that anxiety arises. That pressure in your body, the felt sensations of anxiety are merely a manifestation of the thoughts in your head trying to push away what is. I experienced a profound moment today when I allowed myself to slow down with one hand on my heart and one hand on my belly and to breath into the darkness of confusion of life that I was able to release any anxiety I was feeling over needing to figure my life out right now (an impossible feat) and allow myself to just be in the space of yes and no.
We often do this with our food as well. When we have supposedly gotten "off track" in our "diet" there is the tendency to say, "well the whole day is ruined might as well just go off the deep end and eat a whole pizza." Life is not black or white. We make the best decisions we can for ourselves every moment. If in a moment of desperation you reached our for a bag of chips, a piece of cake, a box of cookies, it was one moment in your life that all you were doing was trying to take care of yourself the best way you knew how. And the wonderful thing is, you get another moment right after that one to try again and make different choices. We want the cookies, the cake, the pie....and we also don't. We want happiness, smiles, sweetness in our life and when that is missing, yes we want the sweet foods to fill a void that is missing elsewhere. Come out of the judgement of the choices you make and stick with curiosity of what you can learn from yourself in every moment. Ask yourself with each situation that you feel torn why is it a yes and why is it a no.
Sit with how complex life truly is. Life is so short and so long at the same time. When I remind myself of this I remember, I can let go of tension in my body and ask myself what would be a better thought right now, which helps me to move away from the confusion in my head and come back to cultivating a feeling within my body that helps me to open to my human experience and sit in all that beautiful grey area.
The interesting thing is that when we are experiencing the push and pull of life and feeling overwhelmed with our current situation, when we can come very close to ourselves the stress and anguish disappears. When we actually allow ourselves to slowwwwww downnnnn, that is when we can touch out heart and open up to our experience. It is alright to say yes and no at the same time. It is when we try and alter or take control or push ourselves to make a decision before we are ready that anxiety arises. That pressure in your body, the felt sensations of anxiety are merely a manifestation of the thoughts in your head trying to push away what is. I experienced a profound moment today when I allowed myself to slow down with one hand on my heart and one hand on my belly and to breath into the darkness of confusion of life that I was able to release any anxiety I was feeling over needing to figure my life out right now (an impossible feat) and allow myself to just be in the space of yes and no.
We often do this with our food as well. When we have supposedly gotten "off track" in our "diet" there is the tendency to say, "well the whole day is ruined might as well just go off the deep end and eat a whole pizza." Life is not black or white. We make the best decisions we can for ourselves every moment. If in a moment of desperation you reached our for a bag of chips, a piece of cake, a box of cookies, it was one moment in your life that all you were doing was trying to take care of yourself the best way you knew how. And the wonderful thing is, you get another moment right after that one to try again and make different choices. We want the cookies, the cake, the pie....and we also don't. We want happiness, smiles, sweetness in our life and when that is missing, yes we want the sweet foods to fill a void that is missing elsewhere. Come out of the judgement of the choices you make and stick with curiosity of what you can learn from yourself in every moment. Ask yourself with each situation that you feel torn why is it a yes and why is it a no.
Sit with how complex life truly is. Life is so short and so long at the same time. When I remind myself of this I remember, I can let go of tension in my body and ask myself what would be a better thought right now, which helps me to move away from the confusion in my head and come back to cultivating a feeling within my body that helps me to open to my human experience and sit in all that beautiful grey area.
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