Fear

Fear colors a lot of things that I do these days.  The funny thing is I don't exactly fear failure, sadness, mistakes, or abandonment.  These things I know and I know them well.  What I fear is success, unbelievable happiness, love, light, and a feeling of wholeness.  Excuse me for my language, but what the hell would I do with all that?  So often when we have gone through so many hard times for so long and that we begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel or the silver lining to the dark clouds that we will actually self sabotage.  I know I am not alone in the fear of actually getting all that we desire.  It is easier to live life with the glass half empty because then there is always something externally we can complain about when we feel down or off in our own life.  Actually believing and then receiving all that we desire and know we deserve is actually a much harder task to live with.  So many of us (myself obviously included) upper limit ourselves and purposefully take action to bring ourselves back to our comfort level of right below utter joy so that we actually feel more comfortable!

This can take the form of binging on food, sabotaging a relationship, picking a fight with anyone, spending too much money on superfluous things, and the list goes on and on.  In our society today there are so many ways to run away and upper limit ourselves.  I'm currently working on allowing myself the abundance I know I deserve and secretly want in my own life.  I have lived a long time narrowing in and stressing over what I didn't have and needed to get by (like money to pay my rent).  And yet as soon as I shifted my focus away from the negative (as even negative thoughts breed more negativity into ones life) and started viewing more of the positive already existing in my life that other things started to shift.  As soon as I started to truly believe that I had and was enough just the way I am that stress and tension left my body, I began to find ways to make money, a relationship entered into my life, and digestive ailments that sometimes flare up "suddenly" disappeared.

This truly demonstrates the power of our own minds and thoughts.  If we live our life in fear then all we are attracting is more fear, worry, and anxiety.  If we keep telling ourselves we don't have what we want in our life then we will continue to have just that because that is what we believe.  Yet just with a simple switch in the brain, one can feel different sensations manifesting in the body and then subsequently your life.  And I am not saying this is an easy task; I struggle with it every day to transform my fearful worries into thoughts of abundance, prosperity, oneness, and fulfillment with the present moment as is.  Yet I work on this every day because I have seen the profound shifts positive thinking makes in the rest of my life.  It propels me to want to make positive healthy actions for myself in my own life.

So lets all try an experiment: for one day every time you feel negativity in your body or fearful thoughts are arising in your brain take immediate action and think about what is going well in your life, what you do have, and how you might be possibly upper limiting yourself because a second earlier you were feeling profound joy that you just didn't know how to handle.